Why you should ask yourself why

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EVERYONE WANTS THE INSTAGRAM LIFE RIGHT…..

Instagram lifestyle

But the realiTEE is life is full of decisions- soooo many decisions. What option to choose? What if I do nothing & let life just happen? These are questions I am consistantly asking myself. Should I? Or shouldn’t I? Welcome to my daily battle….

I’m convinced it isn’t just myself that has this daily struggle and therefore have read many articles, blog posts and books on the important questions you need to ask in order to design the life you want.

The good news is there’s no need to reinvent the wheel, there are 3 questions that keep coming up in all the different content I’ve read/ listened to.

Designing your life

So I thought as a result I would summarise my research & share the 3 main points with you in the hopes that they will bring value into your life or business.

I’ll be real I have not found these easy and it takes a conscious effort daily to put these into practice.

So far I have focussed on my personal life & these three questions have provided me with vision & focus. I feel clarity & there is something very empowering about knowing you have made your decisions in life, not let life just happen and allowed yourself to be a victim of life.

If all this post does it get you thinking & doing your own research then I’m glad you stopped by.

Let’s get into it- shall we?:

1.) WHATS YOUR WHY:

You don’t have to share your why if you don’t want to, it can be completely personal, but it shouldn’t be anything like money. It is clear that many people in history that have only chased money have played a VERY short game! Look at the Wolf on Wall Street… yes he was filthy rich for a while but he’s why was just money and he got so carried away he didn’t look at the wider picture. I recommend you check out he’s podcast, hell tell you himself that now he’s why is to help people he is such more driven. There has to be something more meaningful. Something that gives purpose.

I have been there focused on the money and the short term & as a result made bad choices. These bad choices led to a tormented conscious & a LOT of anxiety… this is because I wasn’t being honest to myself or becoming a person I was proud of.

Your WHY is like a compass let it lead you when creating your life/business. If you don’t have a concrete WHY, you will give into things that you probably wouldn’t have given into in the first place. If you have a strong WHY when you’re hit with the hard choices you’ll have a idea of where you want to go and what you want your outcome to be. It will make choices easier & give you confidence in your decisions.

It is proven that hand writing out your WHY & looking at it daily, refer to it daily, tell your closest friends, let them hold you accountable.

My WHY is building a like-minded community. My boyfriend sparked this idea in me almost a year ago when he told me to go & find more friends who had similar interests to me… my search for like-minded people has led to me branching out in the content I consume & for the first time in my life I stayed committed to a promise I made myself & produced content for a whole year. I’ve connected with woman from around the world & I’m so grateful for that. I love hearing like-minded people coming together sharing their tips & tricks in an unapologetic way. It’s amazing what you can learn if you stay open minded & un-judgemental.

2.) DECIDE HOW YOU WANT TO LIVE:

Let’s face it leaving a bad day at the office and coming home a bundle of joy is not a natural human trait. I really struggle to not take something personal especially when I’ve poured my heart & soul into a project. My boss & I recently sat & had a long discussion about this, it turns out he also reads the Daily stoic & he’s advice was to acknowledge that people are hard on the task not the person. My boyfriend is very good at this, app& when annoyed or agree he’s very good at addressing a issue and consciously moving on. He’s fabulous at not holding a grudge & this is something I’m really trying to learn from him.

Back to the point: what kind of life makes you happy?

Get as creative as you’d like here, write it down, draw it if you’d like. Create a strategic future by design. My boyfriend is a fan of having a year, 3 year & 5 year plan. List systems to get to your goals. To do lists. Habits. It’s all good stuff.

Here’s the caveat…. don’t get tied down by the plan. The outcome is key but you need to be flexible. I get so tied down with the plan & experience stress & anxiety at new levels when something I can’t control goes wrong. I always have to take a moment, breath & remind myself ‘the best laid plans of mice & men’

As for the kind of life I’m creating for myself is simple: freedom. Freedom to come & go as I please, to travel to the far corners of the world whenever I want. Freedom to provide for myself without the panic of not knowing if I’ll have money left at the end of the month. Freedom to DO ME unapologeticly.

Freedom to me represents a peaceful & happy life.

I also believe that this goal helps my relationships. I’ve been stuck in a relationship where I was dependent on the other person & I felt resentful.

Knowing that I don’t need my boyfriend I chose to be with him because he makes my life better makes me value him so much more & I’m grateful everyday. This doesn’t just go for my boyfriend, there is no one in my life I am dependent on. The people I keep close to me & engage with regularly are people that I want to surround myself with.

Getting to this realisation wasn’t that easy, a lot of people will tell you they want freedom but that looks different to everyone & what has driven you to that desire will be completely different to mine.

I started with a list of things that were important to me and for each one I asked myself why 5 times… & almost everything on that list lead to freedom for me.

You get the drift.

Spend some time on this one. Write out a list of what makes you happy & a list of what makes you sad…then simply do more of what makes you happy.

The art of not giving a…

3.) OTHERS SUCCESS DOESN’T TAKE AWAY FROM YOUR HARD WORK:

THIS IS SOMETHING we are all guilty of.

Whether you scroll through Instagram & wish that was your life or you’ve sat there and thought ‘I’m so behind in life, Sandra is married with kids at 30 and I’m still living at home.’

As long as you have your WHY & your END GOAL then you’re on your track!

Let Sandra do Sandra.

Let Billy do Billy.

& Janet’s new outfit every time you meet for cocktails…. not your business!

Becoming obsessed with other people’s lives is NOT SERVING YOU! It doesn’t effect your actions & your output.

It just doesn’t. Drop the judgement.

We are all a work in progress.

We are all diamonds in the rough.

For me I’ve never understood the race to finish line, because there is no finish line. If there was it would be boring when you got there anyway.

Imagine never growing or learning anything else…

What I want to learn & work on are completely different priorities than my cousin who wants to achieve so much. It’s okay that we want to learn & growing different ways.

I wish her all the best & I’m so proud but her growth doesn’t make me any less of a human.

However this is difficult at times when you feel like everyone is running off & you’re stationery. I have moments where I will literally catch myself before I wreck myself.

Brave new girl

Girl stop apologising

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

So I hope this not so brief post has provided some perspective & helps you to gain some clarity.

Stay in YOUR own lane. Focus on YOU. Go towards YOUR goal. Stop looking around, Who cares what everyone else is doing?

Make your choices. Own them. Define them.

Honey just do you….

Tee x

How to embrace ME time

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Hey hey hey!

Sooo…. Now that I’ve moved in with my boyfriend and live a short distance from my office I’ve found myself with a lot more alone time. My boyfriend leaves before me each morning and arrives home about 2 hours after I do each evening.

This is a total 180 compared to living with my father who was always home.

At first it was kind of weird but I couldn’t actually remember the last time I had had time by self.

Alone time

So I decided to embrace this me time and make a list of ways I like to spend time alone (I love a list, really helps me organise my thoughts… I can’t be the only one doing this surely 🤷🏼‍♀️)

6 things to do alone:

1.) Go outside: this includes taking a walk/ run and using that time to listen to a podcast. There are so many little side streets and areas of Birmingham that not even I’ve explored, my favourite route is via the canal. I just find water so relaxing.

Birmingham library

2.) Cooking: Okay this I do and time so dinner is ready for when my boyfriend walks in, sounds soppy I know but honestly I don’t like to eat late! I find cooking so relaxing, again I may have a podcast on or a Netflix documentary playing on the iPad or just music while I dance around.

Homemade meals

3.) Light a candle: add a cheeky dessert maybe a bit of music playing & just chill. I’ve seriously been craving cinnamon buns lately & after I found this recipe for vegan options I just had to make them. Honestly sitting down to enjoy this in peace & quite easy pure joy & satisfaction! Most of the time sitting down and lighting a candle goes hand in hand with reading a book. Reading is one of my favorite things to do, I honestly believe it makes me a more rounded person and I love the fact you can never run out of things to read. Sitting down with a cup of tea, a good book & a candle is one of my ideas of HEAVEN.

Candlelit dessert

4.) Go to a restaurant: ALONE! Okay I’ll admit I had never actually done this until recently when I found myself waiting 3 hours for breakdown to come out and fix my car. But OMG it was life changing! Now I love it I get to go a try places that I don’t normally go to with other people and just enjoy a meal maybe a cheeky cocktail and just people watch! Also there’s no one there to pull a face at my kale salad followed by a little cheesecake! Nothing like eating alone at a restaurant : ). It’s quickly becoming one of my favorite things ever.

Eating solo

5.) Drink a cup of coffee & CHILLLLL: I loveeeee enjoying a cup of coffee l. I really savour it! & as much as I enjoy going home to meet my dad in our favourite place I do enjoy a nice stroll to a local independent by myself and doing a bit of reading. Right now I’m feeling so festive and having a moment with coconut milk, sometimes I’ll have it as a mocha and other times a dirty chia latte but ALWAYS with cinnamon. I fully zone out in a morning while enjoying my coffee, honestly the barista asked me a question the other day and actually made me jump!

Perfect coffee morning

How do you like to spend time alone?

– Tee, xx

Why your skin deserves healthy fats post swim.

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So for my birthday last week my cousin brought me this really cute fun t-shirt that lets everyone know my favourite food!

Guac T-shirt

I honestly don’t need an excuse to eat avocados. At any given opportunity I’m ordering them (my order usually goes something like this… can I get x no cheese with avocado thanks 😊)

I probably eat avocado at least 5 times a week. You know when people say if you were on a island and only had one meal for the rest of your life what would it be… EGGS & AVO! Every time…. Call me basic if you like but I’m obsessed.

Grind breakfast London

Although I was obsessed way before it became trendy as I loved guacamole and always got my mom to ask for it on the side of her dish so I could get extra when we went for Mexican food!

Anyway these days there are more than enough articles that encourage you to consume ‘healthy fats’ and avoid going fat free!

We all know by now that we need to be consuming good, healthy unsaturated fats found in nuts, avocado, olive oils etc…

Main benefits of these foods;

• Reduce sugar cravings (honestly I grew up thinking I have a sweet tooth however that’s changed with my diet, not going to lie I still llloooovvveeee chocolate)

• Increase energy levels

• Keep you fuller for longer

• Lower the risk of heart disease

• Aid the body in absorption of vitamins and minerals

But here’s my favourite thing about healthy fats… they’re amazing for your skin!

One of my all time favourite activities is swimming, it’s something I’ve enjoyed since I was a child, it works the whole body and allows you to completely disconnect. No phone = no social media and no beep beep beep. Just you and your thoughts, it’s perfect thinking time.

Here’s why fatty foods help your skin if you swim:

The effects of chlorine on skin (and hair) can put people off the activity especially if like me you have sensitive skin with conditions such as eczema.

If you fill your diet with radiance-boosting glow enhancing essential fatty foods and omega-3 you’ll nourish your skin from within.

Swimmers skin

Some of my favourites include:

• Avocado and eggs… did I mention this already?

• Salmon with or without avocado

• Nut butters (I love some nut butter on a rice cracker with a banana and cinnamon)

• Sprinkle of chia seeds.

Eggs avo & salmon

Why you should avoid trans fats; trans fats ( often listed under the names ‘hydrogenated oil’ or ‘hydrogenated vegetable fat’ ), are usually found in many packaged and processed foods. These are known to be extremely toxic AND have no health benefits.

Join the avocado debate… do you love them or hate them?

Comment below.

Love

Tee

Why you should seriously look into Cupping Therapy

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Hey there… so i know it’s been a while since my last post, I’ve taken some time at lately but I’m back and getting straight back to it.

When I told my dad last week I was getting cupping you should have seen the weird look on he’s face, I’m pretty sure he thought it was something a daughter shouldn’t disclose to her father if you know what I mean. Cupping is something that has intrigued me for a while, there are so many benefits to this ancient Chinese practice that I couldn’t not give it a go.

Cupping therapy

So first of all … what is cupping;

Well “Is a form of traditional alternative medicine that can be found in many different cultures in which a local suction is created on the skin. During cupping, glass or plastic cups are suctioned onto the patient to help increase the flow of qi and blood through the body. The practice consists drawing tissue into a cap placed on the targeted area by creating a partial vacuum – either by the heating and subsequent cooling of the air in the cup. A technique of sliding the cups along tight muscle bands works very well to release tension and adhesions within the muscle. Cupping also works to pull stagnation or toxins from the patient through the skin. Cupping on the upper back can be very effective for the treatment of the common cold.” (Via)

There are also different types of cupping so a quick google will tell you there’s wet, dry and fire.

Wet cupping involves puncturing the skin with acupuncture needles first to realise blood.

Here’s what it looks like in action (not me)

Cupping in action

I get it looks totally painful and uncomfortable but it has so many benefits;

🍶It can help remove toxins from the body and stimulate the flow of fresh blood (this is actually one of the originally reasons I wanted to try it out as my blood circulation is shockingly poor)

🍶Lymph drainage helps move fluids around the body (and out of your face first thing in a morning but that’s a whole pother blog post…)

🍶Qi – which roughly translated means energy and I have to say following my session I was full of energy and such a productive afternoon at home. I baked cleaned danced and got my ass in the gym (something I’ve been not so great at lately)

🍶Known to help reduce back and muscle pain (people get cupping all over their bodies)

It often works wonders for patients with the flu, colds, coughs, anxiety, red itchy skin conditions (though cups are not applied to inflamed areas), allergies, fevers, aches and myriad other pains.

See benefits are endless and when you consider that it’s no surprise that this is used by Olympic athletes and award winning sport champions such as Andy Murray who uses it in conjunction with other treatments to relieve stiffness and to help address a back injury. More and more athletes are looking at how to stay in the game longer and methods to naturally improve health and performance so it’s no surprise they look to holistic treatments to help them.

What does it feel like at the time… well when the cups were been put on I did flinch a little not because it hurt I just didn’t know where the next one was going (& the cups are quite cold) then once they make contact with your skin you feel it tighten up and then it’s just sort of there. It’s not at all painful and once they were all in place I was so chilled out that the 15 minutes went really quickly.

Self care cupping

Sarah the trained professional I went to covered me up with a towel and check on me a couple of times. She did mention that my skin went dark quickly but honestly I’m not surprised I bruise easy.. Even my boyfriend said that straight after.

In short it’s quite a relaxing experience even the vigorous massage at the end to get my blood moving to other parts of my body again.

After effects…I felt soooo much lighter when I stood up. I felt lose and like I could do so much more which is great. If I pull my neck down there is a slight pain due to the bruise but as you can tell that’s by far my worse one. Yes it leaves marks over your the part of your body you had this and how long they last depends on the person from my understanding, I’ll keep you updated with how long mine take to fade.

I would definitely recommend looking into this and if you’re in the Birmingham area check out Harbin Therapies, Sarah was lovely and so honest. She explained things in depth and answer all my questions. Also the woman is a genius, as soon as I was lying down she took one look at my back and knew the exact locations I suffer with pain. Unfortunately for me this is due to a twisted spin (for now) but cupping has definitely relived a lot of the tension in my body and made things a lot easier.

Have you ever had cupping? I want to know your thoughts so comment below.

Love

Tee

AS ALWAYS CONSULT A DOCTOR IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS | IF YOU’RE PREGNANT, AVOID CUPPING.

Why you need a beauty roller

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They see me rolling, jade rolling.

We’ve all seen them.

Every beauty blogger has one.

They’re the most talked about beauty tool of 2019… but what’s so amazing about them.

It’s an ancient Chinese practice that’s been used for thousands of years to help maintain facial fluid, it rejuvenates the elasticity of skin, repairs your skin cells, fights inflammation, improve circulation, reduce wrinkles, replenish your facial muscles and well it just works!

Jade roller beauty

Still not sold?

Firstly I mentioned jade roller as that’s what I have, but these little tools come in a multitude of stones from jade to rose quartz to amethyst (which I’ve just learnt is known for helping creativity so seriously considering investing in a little something made from this for my desk, anyway…)

I wanted to get into why I think these little things are worth the investment, and also to clarify they’re not big bucks! I’ve seen some for £80+ but don’t know anyone who paid that.. Personally mine was £15 from amazon.

Must do:

• Keep it cool. I keep mine in my fridge, some people keep theirs in little beauty fridges or just somewhere nice and cool. The cool stone on your skin is a great way to A) help depuff your face first thing or reduce any swelling/ water retention and B) stimulates lymphatic drainage. Also around the eyes it feels amazing in a morning.

• ROLL UPWARDS! This helps sculpt your skin and you never want to drag the skin down.

• Always remember the neck, don’t leave your neck out it’s just as important you want to take your routine down to the chest if you can.

How to use a jade roller

I always apply serum to my face first (currently using this amazing vitamin C serum to help boost the brightness of my skin) this also helps lubricate the skin allowing the roller to move smoothly over your skin.

The added bonus is that the stone doesn’t absorb any of the serum just helps to work it into your skin making sure your skin gets all the benefits from your chosen serum.

Why I’m so in love:

• It’s skin care

• Mindcare (I just sit there for a couple of minutes rolling my skin listening to a podcast or just breathing, kinda like meditation)

• It’s selfcare

It’s all of these wrapped into one pretty little tool!

Breakdown of the different rollers:

Rose quartz: this stone is associated with bringing love into your life. I’ve also read that cleopatra bathed with this stone.

Jade: is associated with luck and is considered to bring balance.

Amethyst: as I mentioned this is associated with creativity and is a Kardashian favourite right now.

Which is your favourite?

Love,

Tee

Are you doing these 3 things before a workout?

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Happy Sunday everyone, doesn’t everything just feel better when the suns out? I’m loving working out outdoors this week, it’s such a refreshing change.

Every week at 5:30am Sunday morning my alarm is going off. Yep I’m THAT girl. Crazy early morning workout even on a weekend. What can I say I like to workout before giving myself an excuse not to, although I can think of plenty while hitting snooze, but I also like to get it over and done with and have the rest of the day to myself. Also let’s face it we look better after a workout, not immediately but when the beetroot has faded we look & feel better.

As you can imagine at 5:30 am I’m not sitting there giving myself a facial massage for lymphatic drainage and jade rolling. However, there are a few things I make sure I do, no matter how tired I am, before I work out. You don’t workout without a warm up so why push your skin? It’s just asking for breakouts. I like to keep this pre workout stage as simple as possible, think basic bitch but more basic.

Here’s my 3 pre workout skin care tips.

Light.

This sounds weird I know but switching lights on, open the curtains or get outside, tells your brain to get moving. We all need a little motivation first thing.

Mini cleanse.

I like to wash my face first thing and get out anything that may be blocking my pores. I have such dry skin that I use a fairly thick moisturiser at night so I get all of that out of my skin and let it breath again. In a rush? A all in 1 waterproof miscellaneous cleaning water works wonders and will life away any dirt in your pores while removing the need for additional rinse and repeat. I’ve also being using Elemis pro collagen cleansing balm it’s too early to review the product but I can tell you with complete certainty it smells AMAZING!

Pre workout skin cleanse

Hydration.

Green tea for my body (Although I’ve been loving mint water lately so refreshing) & my disciple for my face. I know I constantly go on about this anti inflammatory oil balanced cocktail but it really is a fav right now, I’m taking it everywhere and at £15 why should it not be in your bag, on your dresser in your gym locker? Back to the point, dehydrated skin is unhappy skin. It looks dull because dead skin cells are blocking your pores. Freshen it up and hydrate from the inside out.

Face mist

BONUS ROUND! If I’m heading outside on the occasion that it’s nice & dry ALWAYS WEAR SUNSCREEN. I’m a little crazy when it comes to this honestly 365 days a year no matter where in the world I am. If the sun is out so are the UV rays. All this hard work to look good I’m not going to let a wrinkle or two stop me.

Are you already doing any of these or have your own routines? Share below.

Love,

Tee

Why travel is my favourite exercise

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We’re all guilty of a little #wanderlust & why not? What’s not to love about seeing the world, experiencing new cultures & ways of life & genuinely having a great time.

I’m not one of the people that can rock up to a beach & set up camp for two weeks, it’s just not my style. I want to explore, meet new people & eat everything the country has to offer me! Travelling for me is the best kind of exercise, I walk until my legs can’t go any further, I laugh until my abs hurt & I eat guilt free which is great for the soul don’t you agree? Okay I also drink my body weight but hey I’m on holiday.

As you may have seen from my Instagram lately (@reali_tee) or my last blog post I’ve recently spent two weeks exploring Italy. My boyfriend & I rented a fiat 500 & set off around Tuscany hill hoping from town to town. Honestly in Tuscany it’s always leg day. There’s always a tower I want to climb with a minimum of 400 vertical steps, I do love to hit my 10k step count and walking is the best way to see the city, beautiful gardens & art galleries. At the beach? What a beautiful way to see the coast line & all the hidden rock pools/ caves. A few years back on a girls holiday we ended up on a mini hike all day up & down it actually turned out to be a laugh & everyone enjoyed it.

It may not be the same as a heavy weight session in the gym but in 35C+ heat you will definitely be sweating your ass off!

Top of Milan cathedral

Seville bridge

Bali beach

David

As I’m all about looking after my skin pre, during & post sweating while looking good on the go I wanted to share with you some of the key products I took away with me. We both agreed to travel light so I strategically considered what products I would need to keep me looking fresh day & night, you never know when you’ll see the next selfie moment on the go.

Florence River

1) SPF! This should not come as a surprise as I’m always going on about the importance of sun protection. The burnt lobster look was never & will never be in fashion. I’m sorry I don’t get the craze of people being impressed with how red they went after one day in the sun, it’s uncomfortable, painful, causes cancer & ruins your holiday. I may not have been by the sea this time but walking around towns & cities it’s still important to protect your skin. Your skin is a organ, the biggest one you have. Take care of it. I love love love Bali body, it’s natural ingredients hydrate my skin smell amazing & ensure I’m protected.

Bali body spf

On the subject of UV rays never forget your shades, on my first trip to Italy in January 2016 my delightful cousin brought her trusty Raybans, myself & our friend laughed at her for this, it’s January who needs shades? Please see below the following photo of Sara looking ever so happy with two squinty companions … not a strong look.

Sunny Milan

Tee’s Tip: unsure if you need sun cream? Take a look at your shadow, short shadows mean low UV long shadows cream up!

2) Disciple Balance mist. I love a face mist anyway, especially after a workout, it just picks you straight back up hydrates the skin & helps takes you from sweaty to glowy. Designed for long flights and late nights you can use this product anywhere, anytime for anything. If a product isn’t multi functional it’s not making the cut into my suitcase or gym bag & this one’s a personal fav. It’s super hydrating & fights inflammatory skin issues, including adult acne, eczema and premature ageing. WINNER I also love that the brand is completely clean & natural. This was the perfect size to carry around either in my daily backpack for a quick pick me up or in my evening bag to help keep my makeup in place.

3) Lanolips 101– what I didn’t say about this in my microblog on Instagram probably isn’t worth mentioning. This product is the master of multitasking.

Lanolips 101 mulitbalm

4) Mr Natty Sea Salt Spray, great British company with some great products. Okay yes Mr Natty is a barber & I may have used my fair share of my boyfriends product here. BUT… sharing is caring after all & this sea salt spray smelt amazing, added texture to my hair & kept my wavy curls looking tame(ish) & natural. Also in my defence the bottle reads for surfers & mermaids…

Mr Natty seal salt spray

Natural wavy hairy

5) My moisturiser of choice… IT Cosmetics CC cream, I’m not a fan of loads of makeup anyway & on holiday I wear even less, it just clogs your pores up and I feel icky. This simple product is not only SPF 50 but basically airbrushes your face leaving you looking natural & flawless in one product. I got this miniature from Boots.

IT Cosmetics CC cream

So there’s my 5 travel / leg day in the city essentials. All are multifunctional & effortless but I still fell like it’s worth mentioning my two ride or die beauty hacks, 1) water & 2) sleep.

Even more than normal I make sure to stay hydrated on holiday, it’s so important when you’re moving around so much, with the added heat & additional alcohol my bag was never missing a bottle of water.

Benefit of being on holiday, additional beauty sleep… after an incredibly early flight & the excitement of wanting to explore Perugia (our first stop) we headed straight out after we had checked in, did a little exploring got some food a few aeprol spritz & by the time we crashed out we slept for about 12 hours. Unsurprisingly I spent the rest of the holiday without dark rings under my eyes. Shall we see how long that lasts?

Are you planning your summer holiday or getting ready to pack your bags? What beauty products make the cut? I want to know, comment below.

Love,

Tee