mental health – realiTEE

One confidence shot please.

Published on May 28, 2019May 28, 2019 by realiTEE3 Comments

So you know how I love to talk wellness on Wednesdays & today is no different. I consider wellness to be an element of beauty as without a balanced life how can you really shine? You can’t reach your full potential, if you can it’s a tiring struggle. Today I want to talk about confidence, & what it means to you. Let’s face it, confidence is essential.

Firstly whether you love to strut around like a VS model in a pair of sexy heels or you prefer the more hippy chic look and wear your kicks everywhere. I don’t care if you wear tight mini skirts and low cut tops, or if you love a onesie and never want to come out or if you are one of those girls that live head to toe in their gym wear. YOU ARE RIGHT. What ever makes you feel confident, what ever makes you feel your best and flatters you. YOU ARE RIGHT. Not fitting into a stereotype does not make you less of a woman (or man, or whichever gender you relate to) & if you haven’t figured out what makes you hold your head up high like a badass boss have some fun working it out. Personally I love a dark edgy look with tight jeans and a pair of statement heels as much as I love a denim mini skirt, t-shirt and pumps. You can dress everything up or down so it’s all about finding your balance. Now to own it…

Why you should own it? When you’re feeling more confident it shows. Like really shows through, it’s in your walk, it shines through your pores, it’s the slight change in the tone of your voice. AND it’s contagious. Genuine confidence is contagious, people are attracted to that kind of energy, but it has to be genuine if you try too hard people will pick up on that & you’ll come across more annoying than confidence. (But that’s not to say you shouldn’t fake it- see below).

Confidence looks good on everyone!

Okay I get that all of this is much easier said than done… in today’s society we have more anxious surroundings than ever before, and that’s just by unlocking your phone. One thing I hear repeated over and over again is ‘I’m so self conscious in the gym I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging.’

Please please PLEASE… stop looking around the gym and judging people. Because I can grantee the 99% of the people in the gym are there to be themselves and the best version of that they can be. Which brings me to my next point, & one I’ve mentioned a few times lately in different forms but it’s so true and the secret to beauty. We are all unique, you are the only you out there. Just do you & own it.

Here are a few of the things that help boost my confidence when I most need it;

1) Always be grateful – Simple but efficient. If you stop & think about it there is always something to be grateful for. Walking into your first fitness class ever… no everyone can do that and you should be grateful you found the strength to get out of your comfort zone & go for it. There’s something to be said for stopping to smell the roses (or even the rosé). Smile. Laugh. Enjoy life. Today I’m grateful for family, friends, boyfriend, my car, spinach pasta, my favourite trainers & the ability to read & write. Below is a book on confidence that I loved, and was so surprised at how many badass woman out there lack it.

2) Do you- okay this is something I struggled with for soooo many years. I was so focussed on what everyone else was doing, wearing, eating, was I doing it right? OMG The stress it takes to live like this, the anxiety the pressure. I got to a point where I would make myself so ill, it just wasn’t worth it. Do you and forget what everyone else is doing. Evolve at your own speed, what feels right and natural for you. Push yourself to do better against yourself. I love the saying ‘if you judge a fish on it’s ability to climb a tree you’ll never know how intelligent it is.’ This is because we are all different, all unique. Being you is a superpower, embrace it.

3) Get fancy – I love love love dressing up, the hair the makeup the right outfit, splash of lipstick. Who am I making all this effort for? Well me! I deserve to look good for me. & so do you. Now please don’t think I take hours and hours to get ready, time is not a luxury I often possess & even when I do I much prefer to be out out having fun then getting ready. Some basic moisturiser (with an SPF obviously) bit of foundation or a CC cream with some thick luscious lashes, thick brows and a tinted lip balm with a badass outfit and you’ll be amazed at how great you feel 40 minutes later. Find a look that suits your style, keep it flattering & dress for you! I brought the below dress last year and everyone I showed it to before hand had reservations but I knew it would look fabulous… (thank you ASOS).

4) Break free- breaking out of your comfort zone is something I wrote about here. It’s a real confidence booster when you realise how far exactly you’ve come. ALWAYS step out of your comfort zone, even if it’s just one small thing. Recently my cousin & I attended a networking event for woman. Neither of us knew what to expect & had both considered dropping out, we didn’t, we went along & actually really enjoyed it. It may be scary as hell, but once you’re out of that comfort zone you’ll see and you’ll want to keep moving forward. Break through one zone at a time.

5) Keep it positive- No matter what, always try and keep it positive. Even with the words you are using, I do this more and more and it’s slowly becoming a natural habit. Instead of saying ‘I hope nothing goes wrong’ try ‘I’m sure it will all go to plan’ Focus on putting that positive energy out there, and it will also tell your brain to be more positive. As I said earlier you can’t fake confidence but you can do things to help trick yourself into believing it and by the time you realise you were faking it it may no longer be fake. I honestly thought for well over a year that I had no idea how to do my job, that I was just faking it and one day someone would call me into the office and sack me. Turns out that by going to work each day and trying to figure it out and doing my best, I actually learnt how to do my job without ever shadowing anyone.

Now your turn… What do you do to feel more confident?

Love,

Tee

Importance of mental clarity.

Published on May 22, 2019 by realiTEELeave a comment

Like everyone my life seems to come in phases, I’m either plodding along or everything is going like crazy at 124908 WTFs an hour. And with my next exam less than 24 hours away and crisis meetings at work it definitely feels like this hamster wheel isn’t slowing down any time soon. Side note, I’m not complaining about this I much prefer living fast, but what is important and what I want to talk to you about is mental clarity and how to keep it together when life is none stop and to help stop you turning into an absolute PSYCHO. I’ve always been one to ‘burn the candle at both ends’ even as a child, I was all about keeping up with the Jones’s and I wanted to do everything and do it well, original Everything girl.

When I was younger I’d really struggle with managing everything which lead to A LOT of panic attacks. These days I still over commit myself but have a system in place to help battle brain fog and keep focused. 9/10 times this works really well, but sometimes (like this week) enough was enough and I knew it was time to step back.

I knew I’d hit that wall when I just felt overwhelmed, tired, lethargic and exhausted. Let’s be honest there is nothing special about running yourself down like this, even though we ALL do it. I recently wrote about the importance of sleep and I stand by this, your body has limitations and you ned to listen to them.

You can’t bet your PT running time if you have zero energy, you can’t smash an exam if your brain can’t focus and you can’t stay awake until all hours of the night trying to get everything done if your body is ready to drop. (Okay I may be speaking from experience here)

Yes this is a fitness beauty blog, but when was the last time you were exhausted and looked fabulous? Doesn’t happen does it. It’s so important to take care of every part of ourselves, physically and mentally and sometimes I think we all forget there is a synergy there.

There’s a saying in the diving community, ‘Stop. Breath. Think’ if you don’t stop to breath you’ll most likely hyperventilate which will starve your brain of oxygen and you wont be able to accomplish anything.

Most of my mornings look like this:

Get out of bed and put the kettle on for a peppermint tea.
Drink tea and meditate.
Go into the living room and open the curtains for a pilates workout or head to the gym.
Whatever the workout stay HYDRATED
Shower and cleanse face
Podcast while getting ready.

However I’ve had a few days lately where I’ve just switched off the alarm pulled the blanket over my head and gone back to sleep. When I wake back up I still feel awful and now I’m late! So I end rushing around getting my stuff together not having any me time and not working out, which for me is super important. No surprise that this is setting the tone to my day in completely the wrong way. My brain ends up scattered, I know I have stuff to do and instead of being focused I jump from half finished task to half finished task and nothing is to my usual standard.

Having spent another day feeling like I haven’t stopped but achieving nothing, (I hate busy days over productive) I reached the conclusion I need some serious mental clarity.

More sleep. More reading. More resting. More sweating. More stretching.

Working out is so important to me, I really feel like I get that time for just me, it’s also one of the few times I can honestly just switch off. I focus on my form, on what I’m doing, on counting. It’s kind of like mediation for me.

Sometimes we all need to hit that off button. I’ve started to crave that time away from work, from French classes, from my studies, from my phone.

We all talk a lot about mental health and physical fitness but not about positive mental health. I realised this one night when I found a quite area of the gym where I could just do my mini stretch routine in peace. Sweating and working out isn’t just for losing weight, isn’t just about toning up. It’s about your mind as well, we know exercise is good for your mind and mental clarity. If you’re going to take care of your body why would you not take care of your mind. You are a package.

If you want to get quicker, lift heavier you’d train. If you want your mind to be sharper, if you want that edge (as my boyfriend refers to it as) then sometimes you’ve got to take time out for you. Strangely I think we live in a society where this is something to be ashamed off but there is nothing ‘weak’ about looking after you. In fact it’s actually a lot harder to find that time to recharge and to prioritise yourself, even if this involves an hour to get a facial. One of my favourite sayings right now is ‘you can’t look after your community if you don’t take care of your garden’ meaning you can’t be there for others unless you can take that time out to be there for yourself.

So this is where I’m at, I found a small corner in one of the most beautiful modern libraries I’ve seen and wanted to share this with everyone because I felt like it needed to be shared, if it only helps one person stop, breath, think.

Birmingham library inside

And now I’m going home with a face mask!

How do you deal with the hamster wheel that is life?

Share your sanity tips below.

Love,

Tee

Zzzzzzzzz…

Published on May 1, 2019 by realiTEE2 Comments

You know when someone tells you something for the seventh billion time, or you google something, and all 13,787,546 pages of Goggle have the same answer. You sit there and think, YES I KNOW THIS ALREADY!! Well maybe, just maybe, it’s because ‘cliché’s’ are sometimes all be it the most obvious answer in the world but also the best. Why am I rambling on about this you ask? There is a point, I promise. While thinking what would be beneficial and inspiring to write about in this week’s Wellness Wednesday post I realised, I was unmotivated, feeling flat, bloated and exhausted! That’s when it hit me. The number one wellness tip in the world, the number one beauty tip in the world, the number one health tip in the world… SLEEP

We all do, we all need, and there is somebody doing it every minute of every day.

There’s a part of society that see it as cool to be like ‘I got 4 hours sleep last night’ Well this is NOT cool. Sleep is so important to all of us. It causes personalities to change (and not in a good way) if you’re deprived of it. Everyone’s body needs to rest, heal and recover.

But it’s not just about getting in those zzz’s it’s about the quality of sleep. Last year I struggled to sleep because my brain wasn’t being challenged enough in the day that it didn’t feel like it needed the full 8 hours. These day’s I’m so specific about what I plan each day that when I do finally settle in for the night it’s a welcome 7-8 hours. If I’m extra lucky I’ll get a cheeky 9 hours on a weekend and it feels SO GOOD! (maybe better than sex…maybe)

Before we get into a few things that help you sleep here’s why you should get some sleep:

Lack of sleep can make you fat! I don’t even need to see the evidence on this one. It’s not worth the risk, get to bed earlier and your body will thank you.
Improved Concentration and productivity. We all know this is true, if you got 3 hours sleep last night and do 9 hours at work the next day did you achieve anything? Most likely not! You would have been much better off getting 9 hours sleep and 3 hours of work but going into the office and smashing it!
Poor sleep can effect inflammation in your body. Woken up after 5 hours feeling puffy bloated and awful? Go back to bed and sleep it off.

When it comes to getting those zzz’s in I can’t help you but here are a few tips I do to ensure that when my head does hit the pillow the quality is as good as the quantity. THE BETTER THE SLEEP THE LESS STRESS

Coffee cut off! I love coffee and yes it’s a stable part of my morning routine, I love the smell the taste and the simple enjoyment of drinking it. However I do not drink coffee after 2pm and that is on a very bad day! Most day’s I have one 8am coffee, if I’m really struggling or it’s a Tuesday (I take a French class on Tuesday evening so it’s a rather long day for me) 2pm is the VERY latest I can drink coffee. 14:01- sorry you’ll have to get through. Coffee has an absurd shelf life in your system so if you are drinking coffee late into the day then that caffeine is still in your system when you go to bed. You are literally going to bed wired. Cut the coffee and see if it helps, I’m confident it will.
Reading. I have always loved to read but last year I managed very little. So this year I was determined to set a 2019 reading list and go for it. Admittedly I’ve discovered ‘Audiable’ and love an audio book on the way to work or while running however there’s something about a real book in your hands, turning the pages and of course…the smell. I’ve you’re no0t a book person you are probably thinking WTF right now, what a werido, but for all you book people- you know what I mean right? Anyway I’ve found that sitting down for 20-30 minutes a with an actual book really helps me get out of my head and let go of the day. I listened to a podcast a while back now (I forget which one sorry) but the theme was stress. The theory was that when we go home and replay in our heads a stressful experience then our bodies relive this and trigger all the same chemical reactions. Reading takes you away from all of that, transports you to another world. When you do put the book down (if you can) every worry from the day will seem so far away it won’t be as relevant. Now you can relax. Tonight I’m starting Lonely Planet- Vietnam!
Acupression Mats! I LOVE THIS!!! Seriously it’s so good, I even take mine with me if I’m working away. These mats (I got mine from Amazon) have so many benefits; they relieve stress from the body, relaxes the body & mind, helps blood circulation and can help with back pain. This last point I can really vouch for this week.

So there you have it my 3 simple tips for getting some good quality sleep. Try these out and let me know how you get on.

Leave your comments below or on my latest Instagram post!

Can wait to wake up and see them all.

Night,

On your marks, get set… GLOW

Published on April 10, 2019April 10, 2019 by realiTEELeave a comment

Glow, glowing, glow-up, glow up challenge, glow getter… The amount of words we use today about shining and aiming to be the best version of ourselves is forever growing.

A few years back I didn’t even know what it meant to glow up. I thought we simply had to grow up and that has forever seemed dull and boring to me. Maybe that’s why our generation decided to add a little sparkle to this process and really own it.

Healthy glowing skin is something I strive for. The naturally radiant looking skin that people are talking more and more about is the type of radiance that emanates from within. This is possibly one of the biggest wellness trends to take over the world.

But what exactly is this glow?

Post workout glow? Sunkissed beach glow? Love glow? Contentment?

All the above have one shared common denominator and that’s true, authentic happiness.

Think about it… When you absolutely smash a workout, especially one you weren’t excited to get up and do or you started your Monday off the right way. You feel so much better about yourself and that shines through.

When you’ve worked hard for months and you finally get away; you’re in a new location, exploring, sun on your face and no worries in the world. You’re at peace, and that shines through.

When you first start seeing someone and it’s going well; you can’t wait to spend time with them, you can’t stop talking about them to your friends, you get butterflies thinking about them. That shines through!

Being happy and being content will always show, it radiates in so many ways. People pick up on this whether you’re aware of it or not and naturally people will gravitate to you. People have that aura about them, people that don’t take life too seriously, laugh off the bad times and generally want to improve their life and help you improve yours. Those are the people you want to surround yourself with.

Glowing up and glow challenges are much easier to achieve when you surround yourself with like-minded people. I’m incredibly lucky in life to have two people that have an unbelievable amount of faith in me, these two people are the reason I am who I am today, and they are still helping me to glow.

Life is an ongoing challenge but if your vibe attracts the right tribe, you’ll laugh your way through and glow from the inside out.

Love

Tee

Well, well, well.

Published on March 30, 2019April 6, 2019 by realiTEE1 Comment

Hi again!

So, today I want to talk about the buzzwords of 2019; wellness and wellbeing.

More recently, I have heard people use these words as a new term for diet but for me, this is far away from what they actually mean.

When most people think wellness they focus on the physical element, and I really believe this is because so many fitness influencers out there shout about ‘wellness.’

Now, physical activity is good for the brain but we all know that if you get your body moving you get your blood flowing more and more blood in the brain creates more chemicals in the brain such as dopamine = improved mood less stress, but this perspective of the definition shouldn’t be restricted to just increasing your exercise.

Personally, wellness or wellbeing is all about the physical and mental state. It’s about how you take care of yourself, how you fuel your body and the people you surround yourself with that help build you up and help you to reach a place in your life where you can be the best version of you.

I set myself a wellness mission for 2019 and I advise you all to do the same. For me; my focus is on doing more of what makes me happy. From yoga and swimming, to eating plant based burgers, pasta and gin.

More importantly, I’m making time for the people I love and allowing myself to be surrounded with the people that matter and creating more memorable experiences with them.

You are influenced by the people closest to you so make time for the people that make you shine. Your vibe attracts your tribe!

Originally, when I started reading into this subject matter I came across an array of elements contributing to wellness including but not limited to; physical, mental, intellectual etc. Thinking of these different elements of wellness I started to panic a little, I’m well known for looking after myself physically and more recently mentally but I can just about handle that never mind the other aspects.

Who doesn’t want less stress?

I come from a family where anxiety and depression are no strangers and although I’ve never personally suffered with depression my previous anxiety attacks are enough for me to want to do everything possible to keep that darkness at bay.

I remember being given a prescription for anxiety medication and I just sat in my car and cried. I didn’t want to be on medication and to this day medication is always my last resort (I’ve never actually taken medication for anxiety).

I know not everyone can do this and I know plenty of people that swear by their medication, but for me I just didn’t want that. I’m a firm believe of fix the issue don’t hide the symptoms.

This to me is where wellness and wellbeing comes into play; physically, mentally, intellectually – which ever way you want to look at it. Breaking the bigger picture down and focussing on one aspect at a time then build it up.

Okay, I may have rambled on a little here about what wellness means to me and why I think it’s so important because we all have stressful lives and get stressed about how stressed we are which stresses us out and then we speak to other stressed people which raises our stress levels higher, blah, blah, blah you get the idea.

When it comes to stress I have two main coping mechanisms that I’d like to share:

Stop. Breath. Think. Stop what you’re doing, take a deep breath get oxygen into your bod, flowing to your brain and think. Breathing is literally the most important thing you do on a daily basis. Yoga has helped me so much with this.
You’re not saving lives so what is the worst that’s going to happen. Okay if you’re reading this and your job actually does involve saving peoples, this may not be the best advice for you. However, some days at work when the emails come flooding in and everyone is running around like headless chickens it’s easy to lose focus on what’s truly important. No body has died, there’s your first positive now keep building on positivity and make positive actions to resolve your situation.

My final piece of advice… go get some fresh air, honestly you’ll be amazed at how much difference fresh air makes – and I work in a city.

I hope you enjoyed this post, and please remember that everything mentioned above are my own opinions and I’d love to hear yours.

Comment below or on my latest Instagram post with what wellness & wellbeing means to you and what you’re doing to incorporate this into your life more.

Love

Tee

Importance of coffee

Published on February 17, 2019February 18, 2019 by realiTEELeave a comment

Hey guys, this week I want to share with you one of the most important things in my life, and why I’m obsessed with it and I’d put money on the fact you are also well. Coffee!

I didn’t even like coffee a few years back, Sara (my cousin, best friend and unofficial theorist) Strongly recommend I got myself an iced latter when I hit a major wall at work after a day trip to Copenhagen. Prior to my caffeine addiction I had always loved coffee shops, the fast paced lives of coffee to go meeting the slow it right down and enjoy with a slice of cake. The atmosphere, the experience had always appealed to me. They had everything a everything girl could ask for.

Earlier this week Sara and I were discussing coffee and her opinion that it’s all about the taste, whereas I consider so many more benefits to what I’m consuming. Yes I may be addicted but I’m very conscious about what I’m consuming and what the effects are to my body- good and bad.

Self Care 101

Published on February 3, 2019March 24, 2019 by realiTEELeave a comment

Hey again… as you know I’m an everything girl. To me this means having balance in my life, and that includes looking after myself as much as I look out for other people.

We all know the importance of self care, but do we actual practice it?

Some of you (the one’s of you that have mastered the art of adulting) may have said ‘Yes of course! I always take time out for me.’ Some of you may have simply laughed. There are so many different elements to self care that it maybe that if you are only doing one or two things and self sabotaging in other areas like food for instance.

Personally I have been a advocate for self care since my teenage years when realiTee hit and I realized that I cannot handle stress or as my dad likes to say ‘burning the candle at both ends’

I resented this statement throughout university, as you know I’m a woman that wants it all and I’m willing to work hard for it, if my body can keep up. As I watched friends go off and party all night pull all nighters to get coursework submitted and one friend juggle being a single mom I came to believe that this lifestyle was a right of passage and didn’t I wanted to go through as effortless as everyone else appeared to.

Of course working night shifts at a full time job didn’t really fit in with this, neither did the fact that I actually attended my lectures. What it took me a while to learn is that what works for some people doesn’t work for others. Let go of the FOMO and embrace your own wellbeing. Self care is not selfish, but practicing self-care can help provide you with the resources you need to be more compassionate to others. Compassion is like charity, it starts at home and you can’t give what you don’t have.